Mutants – All In The Family

Lake Dead

Inheriting a rural motel from a grandfather who they were told died when they were kids, three centerfold sisters and their aftershave model boyfriends pile in an RV to head up to The Lake Motel to check things out and to see if they can sell it and go shopping.

Lake Dead

Two mutant axe swingers – into hanging, axe to the face-ing, corpse romancing – keep things lively for the out-of-towners until the law shows up. A sheriff comes by and, as it conveniently turns out, is part of a much more grim scenario. Seems the Lake Family are all inbreds. An ick factor of 50. And if you didn’t see it coming, the sisters happen to be related to the mattress mongoloids, all part of grandma’s grand plan to have one heckuva family reunion.

Lake Dead

Everybody related runs around trying to swap DNA with the girls, like they did with mom back in the good ’ol days. An ick factor of 100. Things get a bit intense as the boyfriend has to find his girlfriend before the uncle knocks her up in the barn. I know what you’re thinking – why not in slightly cleaner motel, since there’s one RIGHT THERE?

Lake Dead

Clearly there’s too many broken branches on Lake Dead’s (2007) family tree, one of which is mom, that “Sixty ’n Sexy” love machine who wraps her mouth around the end of a rifle like it was a Blue Ribbon hot dog at the mutant county fair. Let’s just say she’s really good at that sort of thing as she’s had lots of practice with her boys. (The ick factor meter doesn’t go high enough for this one.)

Don’t you dare look at me like that, I di’int make this movie. If I did, I would’ve had way more hot dog rifles.

Lake Dead

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