Horny Women vs. Sea Monster

Viking Women and the Sea Serpent

The ultra-low budget Viking Women and the Sea Serpent (aka, The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent/1957) is, on the surface, a simple story about horny ladies. Symbolically throwing pointy spears at a fully erect tree trunk, each gal takes a shot, the final impalement being the judgment of what plan of action to take now that all their boyfriends have gone off to distant lands (i.e., a bar.)

Viking Women and the Sea Serpent

So it’s decided – build a boat, get in the boat and use the boat to travel to the Land of Baloney Pony Rides. Never mind that not one girl has ever sailed a boat, let alone built one. (On the maiden’s maiden launch, they drop and lose an oar in the ocean before you can say, “Titanic.”)

Viking Women and the Sea Serpent

Fortunately, one guy sporting a tree trunk for one of the women stows away on the canoe built for two (but now holds 11). A lot of good his boating skills do up against a giant inflatable sea serpent, thunder AND lightning, and swirly seas. Yes, I said swirly.

Viking Women and the Sea Serpent

The storm whittles the crew down to six, and after barely dodging said monster of the sea, make it to an island, only to be captured by barbarians with suspect hygiene. But all is not lost – this is the exact same island the Viking women’s mattress mates are being held captive. What happens next is a testimony to a girl’s needs.

Viking Women and the Sea Serpent

After a Barbarian vs. Broads lock-up worthy of a $1.99 pay-per-view, the gals rescue their stud muffins and lay a course to get laid. But dang it all to heck – the barbarian warlord, still stinging from his defeat at the manicured hands of women, rallies all his battle boats to go after them. The sea monster surfaces up in an effort to cash in on his 40 second allotted movie time to run swirly interference.

Wanna know what happens next when the ladies get their men home? You’ll need to have “The Talk” with your mom about that one.

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