New Age Crystal Godzilla

 

Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla

That butt-head Mothra. He gets a little Godzilla goo on him, flies into outer space and through a black hole, and when he comes out the other side, his backwash contrail fuses with a crystalline alien life-form and Biollante’s remaining spores. (See Godzilla Vs. Biollante/1989.) This entity grows into a giant crystal cocoon that heads to earth to do one thing: kill Godzilla, his estranged test tube father.

Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla

Once SpaceGodzilla arrives the military sends out Moguera (Mobile Operation Godzilla Universal Expert Robot Aero-type) to intercept. (Moguera looks a helluva lot like the alien space robot in The Mysterians/1957. I’m just sayin’.) SpaceGodzilla kicks Moguera’s tin ass as easily as if were an empty can of creamed corn.

Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla

A bunch of stuff happens, then Godzilla and his outer space counterpart eventually bash each other good, and while SpaceGodzilla looks to have the advantage, Moguera discovers a large nearby tower that’s been feeding SpaceGodzilla energy vinegar. Moguera knocks it down, thereby leveling the playing field for Godzilla to smack SpaceGodzilla right in the orbiting satellites. Whose your daddy now, b*tch?

Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla

SpaceGodzilla looks awesome with those huge ass crystals growing out of its shoulders. He also has a dark red belly and an energy mohawk. It’s like he’s Goth, punk and techno hip-hop at the same time. Godzilla doesn’t like Goth, punk or techno hip-hop, and emphasizes this by serving up a big bowl of f*ck off soup to those that do.

Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla

There’s a distracting sub-plot to Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla (1994) that involves Little Godzilla. Got five words for you – who cares?

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