Z-Grade Godzilla

Reptilian

“This guy makes Godzilla look like a p*ssy!” shouts one army guy shooting his machine gun at an alien monster the size of Godzilla’s recycling bins.

Reptilian

Reptilian (1999), a Korean creation (Yonggary) ripped off by American filmmakers, looks a heckuva lot like the U.S. version of ’Zilla and has a lot of the same mannerisms and breath problems. Its bones discovered in the desert, Reptilian is unearthed by nefarious archeologists who, after deciphering hieroglyphics left by an alien race, have figured out an invasion is forthcoming – with a revived Reptilian clearing the road.

Reptilian

The climactic battle in New York is an almost scene-by-scene lift from Godzilla ’98, with the military causing most of the downtown damage by missing(!) the 40-story reptile with their warheads.

Reptilian

While the destruction is impressive and the effects “meh” passable, it’s the unintentionally hilarious (and embarrassing) dialogue (see first sentence)  that’ll destroy your funnybone. Army guys buzzing Reptilian with jet packs strapped to their backs (human bottle rockets) is right up there with the Battlestar Galactica-esque aliens looking like they were glued together as if made from a modeling kit.

Leave Reptilian buried in the dirt – it’s where he belongs.

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