Slices – Doesn’t Cut It

Slices

An insomniac has chronic “stay awakeness.” Reading books about sleeping doesn’t help. Neither does pot, which is a known gateway drug to the hard stuff like Excedrin PM™ and/or warm milk. But if he really wanted some shut eye, all he had to do was watch Slices (2008) an anthology of frightless and mundane short horror.

Slices

There’s “The Exterminator,” a torture porn bit about a corporate guy whose in charge of keeping the world’s population at 300 million. Those deemed a drain on the system, get exterminated. Guess who just fell into that category?

Slices

Weaker still is “Dead Letters,” where an aging writer is so overcome with grief over his wife’s passing, he can’t write anymore, which displeases his agent. The same agent who had an affair with the wife. I don’t know why – she had eyebrows the size of a stick of chalk and could stand to lose a few pounds. He finds a way to resurrect her and pick up where he left off in the smooching department.

Slices

Then there’s “Night Screams,” a near-to-pointless tale about a modern day sexy female vampire. I’ve never heard of such a thing. I know that look you’re giving me, but you’ve heard all this before.

Yep, Slices is templated after Creepshow (1982), but without the wry humor, comic book scares and budget. (I believe this was shot on a borrowed camera.) The insomniac may have had trouble falling asleep during this movie. I didn’t.

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