Resident Zombie

The Shadow Walkers

In a plot lifted directly from Resident Evil (2002) and a bunch of movies that ripped off Resident Evil, The Shadow Walkers (2006) finds a team of scientists sealed in an underground facility with a bunch of their own genetic mutations wanting to bite them on their b-holes and arms.

The Shadow Walkers

The failed military-funded project totaled several billion dollars and two years, not to mention all the torn lab coats and broken test tubes. The goal was to create a super army man that could go shock and awe on the enemy while retaining its cognitive thought process. In other words, a zombie that can think. (Pffft – I’ve been doing that drunk for years.)

The Shadow Walkers

The test subjects have gotten loose and a handy welding torch to the locks makes sure that the infected and the about-to-be infected don’t get out and go around biting people on the b-hole.

The Shadow Walkers

The vast underground facility is dark, dirty and full of mutations (like many bars I hang out in) that look like a cross between Rawhead Rex (1986) and that clay-faced creature in the Outer Limits. Their strength and sex-drive has also been amplified, which is demonstrated by a mutated chick who tears her shirt off. If anything was mutated it’s those magnified mammaries of hers.

The Shadow Walkers

Does anyone make it out alive/un-alive? Do the infected chicks start to get as horny as a last call bar fly? Does the military need me to volunteer to be experimented on? By now the answer should be pretty obvious.

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