Booze Cruise With Ghosts

Ghost Ship

The intro of Ghost Ship (2002), a haunted-ship-at-sea flick, has one of the best opening sequences to a horror movie ever seen. Unfortunately, after that it heads for the drain faster than a non-alcoholic beverage.

Ghost Ship

A lush and plush Italian ocean liner sets sail to America in 1962, back before over-priced cruises such as this were offered on™. A spectacular group death sequence (I really want  to ruin it for you, but I won’t – this time) slaughters everyone on board, except for a little girl. Then the ship disappears for 30 years until suddenly discovered bobbing around the sea like a rusty Christmas ornament.

Ghost Ship

Before the Navy can pee on it and call it theirs, a salvage team heads out to claim the ghost boat’s booty. Soon enough, bad things not related to sea sickness begin to take place: visions of the little girl, wires and cables moving around, noises that sound like Aquaman processing some bad clams, horny ghosts who drop top… From there, though, it becomes The Shining at sea, with haunted ballrooms and interactive spectres.

Ghost Ship

The crew is dispatched one by one and the true story of what really happened to the boat comes to the surface, kinda like a high-fiber bowel movement that just won’t go down with one flush. Sufficient measurements of blood and cool ghost effects, and the atmospherics are just the right shades of evil and half-lit darkness. But you get the haunting feeling you’ve seen it all before.

Too bad they raised the bar so high with the opening shot – that alone was pure art, like a ballet dancer caught in a wood chipper.

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