Zombie Gladiator


An ancient burial cave (or “tunnel”) holds the rotted carcass of Demonicus, a bully gladiator left in the cave for a really long time to reflect on his poor behavior. To wear his shiny helmet is to serve Demonicus. So, hey – why not?


A bunch of teens go hiking. One finds the cave and dons the evil chapeau, then slaughters his friends with a sword he can barely hold up. He then collects the body parts, puts them in a boiling pot with some chicken stock and chopped celery, creating a nutritious soup that’ll bring Demonicus back to life so that he may continue to shout Latin slogans and bite the arms of the weak.


As dumb v.3 as it gets, Demonicus (2001) makes no attempt at dialogue, sub-plots, or hiding the fact that “actors” will one minute be standing in complete darkness, then a few minutes later in sunlight. Then in an unemployment line.


If the plot doesn’t kill you, the story line will. It’s enough to make you wanna perform a ritual sacrifice on your TV.

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