The More The Carrier


A virus – or “plague” – has swept the landscape. If you’re infected, you’re soon dead as there is no quick fix. If you’re not gooned out, you have to wipe everything down with bleach. (That stuff will burn your eyes if you use too much.) If someone looks OK, assume that they aren’t and kill them. Twice, if you have time.


Brothers Danny and Brian, along with their girlfriends (OK, Danny isn’t really seeing the chick tagging along, but who else is left on Earth to date?), are as yet not externally bleeding. They’re heading to the ocean where it’s clean. Hopefully.


Along the way, a tense encounter with a man and his sick two-year old daughter results in them all traveling together, the new passengers sealed off with plastic tarp and masking tape in the back of Sick Car, everyone else with dust masks in relative comfort up front. The plan is to head to a rumored town up ahead where there was a wonder vaccine that showed promise and a working bathroom. Outta luck and out of service.


The kid coughs on Brian’s girlfriend. Too bad she didn’t tell Brian. Too bad Brian likes to make out with her. Too bad he has to break up with her (i.e., leaving her on the side of the road). Once contracted, the disease does a slow burn, rotisserie browning your face, leaving your eyeballs as red as the aftermath of a Jack Daniels™ Box Social.


But like all heartwarming pandemic stories, Carriers (2009) comes to a predictable end that, while sufficiently enacted, leaves you wanting more virus rot. In other words, it should’ve made you sicker, but in a good way.

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