Keeping an Eye on Sci-Fi

The Beast With 1,000,000 Eyes

The “beast” in The Beast With 1,000,000 Eyes (1955) is really an alien, at times represented as a blinking soup can that acts as housing for irritating mind waves.

The Beast With 1,000,000 Eyes

This morphing soup can, um, alien doesn’t have a million eyes on its own space face. Rather, it overtakes birds, dogs, barnyard animals, and even a steer (cow on steroids), to “see” for him.

The Beast With 1,000,000 Eyes

So instead of finding the nearest girl’s locker room, the extraterrestrial dumbass attacks a farming family who bitch and argue so much, you’d wish they’d just stab each other in the pig pen with pitchforks.

The Beast With 1,000,000 Eyes

The alien makes life even more uncomfortable for the Kelly family, who has a mute worker living on their property, doing glamorous chores like licking chicken eggs clean enough for market and turning cow pies when the sun cooks ’em to a nice pancake brown.

The Beast With 1,000,000 Eyes

Under the control of The Soup, the minimum wage mute goes after the hot teen daughter, setting off a chain of events that is right up there with watching water heat on the stove. Why the alien didn’t mind-control a common pterodactyl or a C.H.U.D. was a serious misstep that resulted in everyone yawning in its general direction.

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