Weathering Horror

Into The Storm

I haven’t seen a good horror disaster flick since the video of my last proctology exam. And the ad poster for Into The Storm, in theaters August 8, 2014, brings back less than fond memories of being probed by Dr. “Big Finger” Lindermund.

Okay, T.M.I.

Anyway, a psuedo docu-horror movie about really mean tornadoes chewing up the countryside is right up my alley. Um, that didn’t sound right. Here’s what’s coming down the chute (crap, what is wrong with me today?):

“In the span of a single day, the town of Silverton is ravaged by an unprecedented onslaught of tornadoes. Storm trackers predict the worst is yet to come. Most people seek shelter, while others run towards the vortex, testing how far a storm chaser will go for that once-in-a-lifetime shot.”

“Told through the eyes and lenses of professional storm chasers, thrill-seeking amateurs, and courageous townspeople, Into the Storm throws you directly into the eye of the storm to experience Mother Nature at her most extreme.”

Extreme Mother Naturing brings nothing but bad news, starting with the first ever documented tornado back in 1937, which disintegrated cornfields, turned cows into hamburgers, and poured down upon us a reign of witches all over rural Kansas.

It could be worse. We might share doctors.

Wizard of Oz

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