Space Turtle vs. Space Squid

Destroy All Planets

I’ve always wanted to destroy all planets. It’s been a lifelong dream of mine. Some aliens in ping-pong ball shaped spaceships painted to look like bumblebees taped together have the same idea. I had it first, though.

Gamera, being the giant space turtle an self-appointed Guardian of the Universe, intervenes and jams his head into the spaceship and makes it explode. Just before Gamera did that, though, the aliens got off a signal telling their home planet that Gamera is now their enemy. Well, duh.

Destroy All Planets

Back on Earth, two boy scout kids are visiting Marine Land (or whatever its called) and get aboard a mini-sub. That they’re able to fire it up and figure out the controls is a testimony to the Federation of Boy Scouts. Today’s scouts are tomorrow’s neckerchief-wearing sub commanders.

Destroy All Planets

While underwater, they see Gamera and race him. Gamera could totally win, but he LOVES horsing around with them, and at one point even looks like he’s smiling. But a second ping-pong ball spaceship arrives and snags the mini-sub in a “super catch ray.” Crap – it worked on Gamera, too!

Destroy All PlanetsThe boys are taken aboard the ship and Gamera’s brain waves are scanned for clues as to his weakness: children. Gamera loves kids so much, he won’t stomp on them or eat them raw.

Destroy All Planets

Eventually the super catch ray weakens and Gamera escapes. But the aliens threaten to kill the boys if Gamera does not allow them to attach a brain-controlling device on his big turtle-y head. This device makes Gamera do the Riverdance™ all over Tokyo, smecking (smashing and wrecking) plaster buildings, balsawood bridges and cardboard dams.

Destroy All Planets

Meanwhile, the boys are causing hell for the Virans aboard their own spacecraft. They find a squid monster and think it, like Gamera, was captured as well. The joke’s on them – it’s Viras, the mutli-tentacled leader of the Virans. Double crap! The resourceful scouts, though, manage to help free Gamera, who then proceeds to make destruction happen on the aliens.

Destroy All Planets

Viras kicks into high-gear and grows to the size of Gamera (approximately 2,160 inches) and the two knock boots, but not in a good way. Gamera wins. Gamera ALWAYS wins. When Destroy All Planets came out in 1968 it was called Gamera Vs. Outer Space Monster Viras. It should’ve been titled Gamera Kicks Your Space Face In.

2 Responses to “Space Turtle vs. Space Squid”

  1. Great review of one of the most truly strange Daiei Studios monsters. Gamera is so cool he even has his own theme song! Everybody Sing!!

    And he is coming back Next year.
    http://www.dreadcentral.com/news/74612/new-gamera-movie-coming-2015#axzz2wHjOPPc7

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