Sea Creature Salad


Seventeen years ago (from 2003 when this “movie” was released), a topless woman having immoral beach relations with a man not her “legal in the eyes of the law” mate, was torn apart by a two-legged creature that came out the ocean to watch.


Nearly 20 years later and the creature – called an Aquanoid – is back, this time threatening to kill not only surfers and/or boaters, but a pending real estate deal that will make the town’s crooked mayor a boatload ’o cash.


Vanessa, the supermodel biologist in a microscope bikini, tries to warn the everybody not to go swimming by using the effective method of handing out fliers, no doubt printed by Kinkos™, who over-charged them. (I’m looking in your direction, KinkosTukwila, WA.)


The Aquanoids (where there’s one, there’s two) look like a scuba diver covered in a spinach salad medley. Vanessa teams up with the town drunk to lure the Aquanoids to the surface so they can be made into poisonous fish ’n chips.


If you’ve been paying attention (and why wouldn’t you – she’s in a bikini), the drunk dude and Vanessa share, um, a family secret. A few bare boobies, a plethora of swear words, a smelly plot, and a scuba diver covered in salad. What part of that doesn’t work for you?

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