Sewer Phantom

The Phantom of the Opera

The eternally classic Phantom of the Opera (1925) is adapted from the book Le Fantôme de l’Opéra, which I never even looked at because I can’t read French. I assumed I could. My bad.

The Phantom of the Opera

So this opera lovin’ dude has a f’d up face, so he wears a mask and lives in what seems like a million feet below the Paris Opera House where Christine, his muse, sings songs in a really high voice. (You don’t get to hear it as this is a silent movie. Just use your imagination.)

The Phantom of the Opera

The Phantom threatens mega unhappy times if the theater/theatre owners do not let his song bird perform instead of that singing diva c-word, Carlotta. He makes good on the threat by dropping a massive chandelier (fancy name for fluorescent lighting) on the audience during a sold-out show. Dude! 

The Phantom of the Opera

The Phantom, who has been secretly coaching Christine, finally gets the nerve to ask her out, and takes her to his nicely appointed crib in the sewers. (French sewage – loaded with recycled wine, butter and stink cheese.)

The Phantom of the Opera

He tells her not to fixate on his mask and that if she touches it, will totally wreck their relationship. She touches it. Snap! That turned out to be one of horror’s all time kick ass shock moments as the Phantom looks like a mummy with too much eye shadow and lipstick.

Inevitably, the cops show up and beat the arts outta him. Too bad – the Phantom showed serious sequel potential.


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