Religion Gone Wild

To say the uber-strict Sister Ursula gets into her job is an understatement. She tortures “godless and impure” girls at the Catholic convent school, stuffing passed notes in mouths and sticking a water nozzle where God hadn’t intended a water nozzle should be stuck. Clearly, religion holds a special place in her heart.

Fed up with being nozzled, stuck and stuffed, the students turn on Sister Ursula and drown her in a bathtub. Baptized with bubbles. Homework assignment completed, they haul the Sister’s body out to the school’s deep pond and give her a proper burial at sea.

Twenty years later the pond was drained, which means Sister Ursula’s revenge-driven soul was allowed to escape. (Her bones, though, were probably eaten by pond sharks.) Because she died by water, so does that become the method of her revenge.

The ordained effects in The Nun (aka, La Monja/2005) are kinda cool, what with the floating Sister doing stuff with water only a Catholic Aquaman could do. No nudity (dang), colorful dismemberment (sweet), and a mystery that couldn’t stump a bone dry Nancy Drew. All in all, not a bad way to spend an hour and a half. That, or in a confessional.