People McNuggets


When you get down to it, giant crocodiles eating people is a solid business model. You have your scenic outdoor sequences, nature narratives, screamy tourists, and hey, no unnecessary story lines – just meet ’n eat.


A bowlful, uh, boatload of tourists vacationing in Australia go up the wrong river without a paddle. Something – I’m not saying what – smashes into their flotation device and flips it over, forcing them to swim for a small mud island.


Some can dog-paddle faster than others. Good for them. Those who can’t… You may as well call the sandbar a dinner plate as it isn’t much of a safe haven due to a fast rising tide, leaving the leftovers, uh, tourists to figure out how to get across the river to what they think is safe ground. From here on out it’s a guessing game to see which annoying tourist gets snacked in half and in what order before the “into the croc pot” ending.

Rogue The tourist guide – a blonde supermodel – still thinks she’s in charge. That is, until Mr. Snappy makes out with her with his toothy kiss of death. So much for a second date.


Great butt-clenching tension as everyone tries to get to dry land on a rope line suspended a few feet over the water. The angle of the dangle. You know what’s gonna happen, but it’s still fun to see it all go down. (Yeah, down Mr. Snappy’s throat – ha!)


The crocodile of the moment is pretty big (the credits say 23 feet in length), doesn’t look fake and prefers a side order of screaming with his meals. Which makes Rogue (2007) on par with the other exact plot croc movie, Black Water (2007) and almost as good as Primeval (2007). Like I said, a solid business model.

3 Responses to “People McNuggets”

  1. Good review…I think I have to see it (I loved Wolf Creek)

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