Russian Ghosts

The Abandoned

Inheriting the farm house (which is roughly the size of The Shining’s Overlook Hotel’s guest parking garage), a woman with a checkered past travels to Russia to inspect the property. But she doesn’t want the house that hasn’t been lived in for forty years as it will need about 500 coats of paint and a serious exorcising. But she’s seeking information on her knife-perforated mom – and coming “home” seems a good place to start. At first.

The Abandoned

Twin doppelgangers roam the house and look to be in grievous disrepair. And whatever you do to them happens to you. Hence, the hole in the man’s leg when he shoots his flesh-torn twin in the femur region.

The Abandoned

As the clock nears midnight, what happened in the house all those reverse years ago begins to replay itself: The dad comes home from work, perforates mom with a knife and takes the newborns out to the barn where hideous and hungry black pigs live. At this point you better have a strong stomach. The next few minutes are flinchy ones, but you have to keep watching if you wanna know more about the care and feeding of hideous black pigs in case you ever buy some at the mall.

The Abandoned

The ghosts, looking downright spooky, are getting closer to achieving their goal. I’d tell you what that is, but then those ghosts would probably get me. The Abandoned (2006) takes a while to build up steam, but the final scene is very tasty – like a big plate of black pig bacon.

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