Friday the 13th: A Hellish Experience

In this ninth installment of the Friday the 13th franchise that’s harder to kill than its human Cuisinart™hero, Jason Voorhees is caught by the FBI, killed in an explosion, his body parts taken to the city morgue.

The coroner, for whatever icky fetish reason, eats Jason’s still-beating(!) heart and becomes possessed by the killing spirit. Nothing left to do except count the bodies.

The hell part comes when Jason is stabbed in the chest and the soul of everyone he’s ever wiped off the planet comes out, like steam from a winter turd. You’re almost thankful when demon hands bust through the ground to give Jason directions to Purgatory.

Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday (1993) was supposed to be the last Friday the 13th sequel. It was not, despite the movie’s misleading title. If we quit watching ’em, they’ll quit making ’em. It’s not rocket science.