Paranormal Boredom

It’s always a downer filled with bummer when a popular horror movie franchise milks itself dry with too many and/or unnecessary sequels. While I could cite dozens of examples (I’m looking in your direction Friday the 13th), I’m pointing my annoyance gun at Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones, the latest in the otherwise profitable Paranormal Activity series, due to underwhelm us on January 3, 2014.

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones is a spin-off that has no story line relation to its parent movie and cinematic siblings. This garners a big SO WHAT. Yeah, I haven’t seen it, but I took a look at the trailer, which indicates the movie is a made-on-the-cheap handheld camera dizzyfest that trots out the same kind of low-grade ghost effects we’ve seen in all the other PA movies.

The plot: “The film takes place in a Hispanic community in Southern California, where a group of teenagers must deal with a demonic spirit that is becoming increasingly violent. After being ‘marked,’ Jesse is pursued by mysterious forces while his family and friends try to save him.”

Same movie, different ethnic backdrop. Yawn.

To further reaffirm The Marked Ones’ cut ’n paste business model, they even went so far as to rip off the symbol from the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pts. 1 & 2. (2010/2011). The circle within a triangle with a vertical line through it represents the Elder Wand, the Resurrection Stone and the Cloak of Invisibility, all of which can be found on Craigslist™. The Marked Ones shamelessly parades the same symbol around like a Blair Witch stick figure talisman, which was stolen from Pearl Jam.

I’ll pass on Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones and surf Craigslist™ to find a Cloak of Invisibility that covers my bikini zone.