Titanic Failure

Titanic II

Here’s a good idea: rebuild the chill-fated Titanic to spec, loudly proclaim nothing can sink it, then go on an ocean cruise that traces the original Titanic’s scenic route near whale-sized icebergs. That totally sounds like something I’d do while under the guidance of Budweiser™.

Titanic II

Thanks to global warming, glaciers are splitting off in Greenland and headed straight for cocktails in America. An incoming tsunami  that apparently no one saw coming throws the ice chunks right at U.S.S. Screwed Yet Again.

Titanic II

The rest of the movie has everyone trying to saves themselves, though I don’t know why. It’s not like they can realistically do a sequel with me as its star who saves everyone and gets all the chicks at the end.

Titanic II

The interior shots of this “state of the art” cruise liner has people going into the hold that looks like a ratty warehouse with peeling paint and leaking pipes. But then, that was the predestined fate of Titanic II (2010) – to boldly sink to new depths.

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