Car Insurance Horror


Cute ’n second date worthy Brandi works in a retirement home and hoses down old guys who crap in their beds. Because she does this with a smile on her face (actually it’s more of a grimace), she’s up for promotion. That would mean handing out sh*t instead cleaning it up. Celebrating with a co-worker, she takes drugs. It’s hard to take pills without something to wash ’em down, so she chases it with numerous, yet delicious alcoholic beverages.


Driving home later, she’s drunk and high and talking on the cell phone, and doesn’t notice 50-something Tom in the street. (He lost his job, his apartment and had nowhere to go except the middle of the road.) WHAMMO! He goes halfway through her windshield, his face lacerated, a windshield wiper perforating his abdomen, and his right leg sustaining a compound fracture, complete with exposed shinbone.


Brandi tries dumping him off at a hospital, but freaks out and drives home into the garage, with Tom, barely alive, half in the passenger seat, the other half on the blood-smeared hood. And there he stays – for days.


Tom’s predicament is excruciating to watch as he tries to free himself from the impalement. Then there’s that “loss of blood” thing going on. Stuck (2007), based on a true story I actually saw on the news, is not all serious black – there’s a scene with a little dog that’s both funny and sick. (I couldn’t help it, I LOL’d.) The ending, though, is a real windshield-smacker.

All of the above – twistedly awesome.

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