Candyman: Bee-Grade Horror


Candyman, a former murdered son of a black slave in his pre-folklore days, appears after you look in a mirror and say his name five times. (I tried that using the word “Budweiser™.” Didn’t work.) Those who successfully summon this Man of Candy, always dies an ugly death. Never heard of a pretty death, so that makes sense.

CandymanHelen Lyle is a graduate student researching the legend of Candyman in the sprawling, crime-plagued Cabrini-Green area of town. She meets the real legend who tells her she must believe in him. Hey, any guy with a hook for hand and who shoots bees out of his mouth has my full attention.


People become possessed. Dogs get decapitated. Necks get sliced. Blood gets on everything. Bee breath begins to stink. Candyman kidnaps a baby with the intent on not letting it get past Huggies™ and into Underoos™.


Helen makes a deal with Candyman – she’ll carry on his fearful legend and make the surrounding neighborhood crap their pants whenever they hear his name, only if he doesn’t take the baby with him into that junk yard bonfire where he lives.


Helen barely manages to save the kid from the extra-flame-y flames, and ends up dying due to her burnt-toast flesh. Trevor, Helen’s grief-stricken husband, looks in the mirror, all sad and upside-down smiley, and says his wife’s name five times. Do I have to spell it out for you?


A great horror icon in Candyman (1992), what with his happenin’ fur coat, white scarf, hooked hand and mouth bees. He also has a deep voice. I bet he could get a job in radio easy.

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