Aqua-Sasquatch

Creature From The Black Lake

Louisiana, home to gators and backwoods hicks not yet eaten by gators, is where the latest Sasquatch sightings are being reported. (Probably by way of cutting edge rotary dial phones.)

Creature From The Black Lake

Ninety-eight percent of the movie is spent getting to know the townsfolk and smooching local chicks in their tent out in the woods where you-know-who lives. When Sasquatch does show up, he’s mega unhappy. The tent gets wrecked, their belongings strewn. And not just regular strewn, either – we’re talking extreme strewn.

Two old farts were out in a canoe when Sas, fully submerged, comes up out of water and drags one guy to his gator-polluted grave. This aqua-squatch is big, hairy, water-proof and apparently can hold his breath. Good for him – swimming is good exercise.

Creature From The Black Lake

One guy gets punched out by Sasquatch and drug off. The other manages to shoot the creature, but bullets have no real effect. (Why would they?) While in the van calling for cops on his hi-tech rotary radio, Sasquatch punches out the window and makes a grab for his lips. The van rolls down a hill, smashes into a tree and gets a good working over by the creature (from Black Lake).

Creature From The Black Lake

As Sasquatch stalks the wounded douche bag, the guy who he dragged off, turns up just in time to be stabbed in the chest by his colleague who mistook him for Bigfoot. Um…oops! A tearful reunion at the hospital brings this train wreck to an end.

Creature From Black Lake (1976) stinks so much, it’s no wonder Sasquatch learned how to hold his breath.

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