Killer Headwear

Not released as of this dissertation (sorry – word of the day calendar), but You’re Next is the latest in an uncomfortable trend of home invasion horror movies. Doesn’t this stuff happen every 30 seconds in thre world? Wondering out loud why we need movies depicting it.

Home invasion movies often feature a person or persons of will ill-intent, doing the whole cat-n-mouse thing with their victims while wearing masks. I guess that’s the only way to make movies like this marketable.

The invaders in You’re Next are wearing stylish animal masks.  There’s a cat, a lamb and some sort of man-bear pig (props, South Park.) Admittedly, few would go see this movie if the killers were just wearing ski masks from REI™ or (my fav), Jos. A. Bank ™. ( Just kidding – they won’t let me in the door. Screw you guys – I’m buying my facewear at Target™.)

Then you have the 2013 hit, The Purge, where the killers wear cartoon-y human face masks. Not too scary, but easily found at Planet Halloween™.

Then there was the plastic girl and stitched burlap headgear worn in The Strangers (2008). And let us not forget the leather bondage mask employed to generic but creepy effect in The Collector (2009) and American Horror Story (2011). Note to nit-pickers: Yes, I know American Horror Story is not a home invasion movie. It’s a family-friendly TV series along the lines of The Waltons (1971 – 1981).

Regardless of all the countless masked serial killers (home invaders or not) – from Jason Voorhees (hockey mask/Friday the 13th) and Michael Myers (Capt. Kirk/Halloween), to Leatherface (un-moisturized face/Texas Chain Saw Massacre) and even the cute as a button terror tot Alice (ballerina/Alice Sweet Alice), one still resonates as being the ickiest and ballsiest (I think that’s a word) mask of all time: the severed pig head worn by farmer/butcher/entrepreneur Vincent Smith in Motel Hell (1980). Not only is it supremely scary, but later, after you take it off, your face will smell like bacon. If that isn’t a double bonus, I don’t know what is.