Vampire With A Point

The Impaler

The Impaler is an upcoming vampire indie due out when the moon is full. Ahem. Actually, due to my chronic laziness, I don’t know when it comes out. I’m guessing sometime after this blog is posted. So there you go.

Been a while since we’ve seen a promising new vampire movie on deck. The last one that pleasantly disturbed the inside of my pants was 30 Days of Night (2007). [Note to 14 year girls with sparkle fingernail polish – I DO NOT count anything with the word Twilight in it as anything remotely vampire or valid.]

Titled in reference to Vlad Tepes – the REAL Dracula in the swingin’ 1400s – The Impaler goes something like this: “Seven high-school friends begin their Euro-trip at the actual castle of Vlad the Impaler, where he supposedly sold his soul to the Devil over 500 years earlier. But the decrepit castle’s past envelopes them in a bloody ritual.”

Ok, they seem to have all the key meta tags: “impaler,” “Euro-trip,” “devil,” “bloody ritual.” In short, works for me.

Vlad The Impaler

Vlad the Impaler – posthumously nicknamed – was a temperamental fellow with a caterpillar-sized moustache that no one dared make sport of. His daily retributions included fire-roasting people alive and forcing other people to eat the chewy albeit free meal, then had them impaled – alive – on tall stakes lining his driveway. History books tell us that Bad Vlad executed at least 80,000 countrymen/enemies/fake vampires. That’s a lot of stakes. Bet he had to get shipments of wood in from the Rain Forest.

Go see The Impaler. But don’t go see Vlad the Impaler. Unless you like your stake well done. Heh.

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