Deadly Diapers

It's Alive

Mutant claw babies are so darn cute when they’re born – expanded translucent cranium laced with colorful veins, pre-molar fangs, pink three-fingered claws, big bulging eyes that just eat away at your heart…

It's Alive

Right outta the womb the mutant claw baby rips through the hospital staff like medical taffy and gets away. It can’t walk, but it can sure crawl faster than most mutant babies I know. The ankle-biter won’t kill if it’s not frightened. Thing is, everything scares it. (Great plot twist.)

It's Alive

Not only three days old, little Jr. has already killed seven potential babysitters. Now that’s what I call daddy’s boy. Frank Davis probably isn’t wondering what knocked up his wife to bear a kid such as this, but how to stop the little bugger from eating the neighbors.

It's Alive

As much as dad tries to save his “son,” the cops take 93 minutes to corner the little bloodsucker and shoot the diapers off it, wherein the mutant falls into the Los Angeles sewer system. Wash all of life’s little problem’s down the drain, I say.

it's Alive

What made the baby a monster in It’s Alive (1974) in the first place? Global warming™? Radioactive Juicy Juice™? Gerber’s Genetic Hybrid Strained Peas™? I’m thinkin’ all of the above. Great old school schlock fun is another thing I’m thinkin’.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: