Dead Dates

Night of the Creeps

A canister of experimental space gunk is ejected out of an alien-operated UFO and crashes to Earth in 1959. This happens to coincide with the escape of a criminally-bonkers mental patient. A black extraterrestrial slug gets out of said container, wiggles inside the criminal, which makes him go a’hackin’ on two teens making out in a car.

Night of the creepsMind jump ahead to a college in 1986 where a nerdy guy and his handicapped friend need to pledge to a frat in order to become cool enough for the campus hottie to notice him so that he can one day feel her up. Their task is simple: Steal a cadaver from the university’s medical center, put it on the steps of a rival frat house, then rock out.

Once inside the morgue, they discover two bodies kept in a cryogenic tube. Of course they open it. Wouldn’t you? The body comes back to life and makes a grab for them. OK, screw the fraternity.

Night of the Creeps

Elsewhere, plagued by the memory of the 1959 killings, Detective Ray Cameron (whose sweetheart b*tch was out with another guy and was murdered in the first paragraph) has to investigate the break-in. Of the two bodies, the missing one just happens to be the 1959 corpse of the guy who was making out with the cop’s girlfriend.

The mental patient’s body though, was never found as Cameron buried it on campus, right under the dormitory of his rest-in-pieces ex. But where did the body go? Why, back to the dorm at the university where he used to wait outside the window for the two-timing skirt, of course! When dead head gets there, his noggin splits open like a cantaloupe left in the fridge for two months and alien leeches leak out. Ewww!

Night of the Creeps

Later, Cameron shows up to investigate the murder of the house mother, who has just been hacked to death by some sort of criminally-insane mental patient with an axe. You could turn off the DVD player right now and be satisfied. But DON’T DO THAT as this thing just keeps getting weirder and wilder.

Night of the Creeps

Meanwhile, the big dance is coming up and the Delta frat house – on their way to get their chicks – are involved in a bus accident (thanks to a zombie dog) and everyone bloodily dies. That’s a temporary situation as the slug-like Creeps bring them back to life as leech-filled zombies.

Night of the Creeps (1986) sets up the movie’s famous line as uttered by Detective Cameron who has arrived at the sorority house: “I got good news and bad news, girls. The good news is your dates are here. The bad news is they’re dead.” Awesome.

Night of the Creeps

More gore-filled fun as the Creeps make their way into the sorority house basement where medical science project specimens (brains) are being kept. Flamethrowers, aliens, zombies, alcohol, exploding heads, slugs, axe murderers, chicks. Hallmark™ could not have made a better movie.

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