Shaolin Vs Evil Dead: Ultimate Power

Shaolin Vs. Evil Dead: Ultimate Power

In the sequel to Shaolin Vs. Evil Dead (2004), a Taoist priest (no relation to Judas Priest, although he does look fairly metal) turns into a vampire and goes on a mega kung-fu ass-kicking jamboree. For most movies, that would be enough of a plot to call it a day. But that’s just the tip of Hondo sword in Shaolin Vs. Evil Dead: Ultimate Power (2006).

There’s a long-yet-cool backstory as to how the priest got all vampire-y, but needless to say, he has unresolved anger issues, most of which is directed at his stepbrother, who was named head Tao priest of the clan over him. That’s like having your younger sister baby-sit you.

Shaolin Vs. Evil Dead: Ultimate Power

The hand-to-hand combats are spectacular and full of jaw-opening martial arts maneuvers, like flying through the air and punching people in the sushi tray. But it’s when the final battle takes place that all ninja Hell-o-rama makes your mind explode with some sort of glee-like substance.

Hak (the vampire priest – cool name as it sounds like “hack,” as in hack your enemies in the face with a hacking fist chop) calls forth his unholy army – hundreds upon hundreds of undead vampires whose coffins shoot out of the ground and release the stinky contents therein. The scene where wave after wave of vampires leap over the temple walls to go after one guy is so incredible as to inspire a poem that rhymes.

Shaolin Vs. Evil Dead: Ultimate Power

Japanese vampires, though, can’t walk, run or waltz, so they hop. Seeing a thousand vampires hop in unison is totally AWESOME. It’s like Riverdance™, but with zombies.

As the bad priest and good priest battle, this thing turns even more surreal; One minute the vampire battles a stone giant under the earth’s surface, the next doing kung-fu kicks to the Place of Sacred No-Touchy in a column of water that just shot up from the ground.

Shaolin Vs. Evil Dead: Ultimate Power

Really, there’s no way to fully describe the thought-bending special effects or fighting sequences unless I was on thought-bending substances, like sparkle glue or a red cabbage salad with Percoset™ dressing.

Shaolin Vs. Evil Dead: Ultimate Power

The action is as fast and unrelenting as the punching, which is totally AWESOME. From now on I’m gonna hop wherever I go so people will think I’m a Japanese vampire. Only then I will become one with cool.

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