Capturing Bigfoot – NOT

The Capture of Bigfoot

The Capture of Bigfoot (1979). Pffft – it’s a proven FACT you can’t catch Bigfoot. So what’s the next best thing? Catch Babyfoot, his little kid. (His real name’s probably Bobby or Juan, but I’m unable to verify.)

The Capture of Bigfoot

Two trappers snare the furry brat and try to bring it back to the ski resort. They make it about as far as that tree Bigfoot is hiding behind. And since the ground is covered in snow, it makes sense that this particular Bigfoot (there are lots, you know) is all white with a face not unlike a plastic gorilla mask you’d buy at J.C. Penney’s™.

The Capture of Bigfoot

An asshook business man who throws under-performing employees out windows, wants to capture Bigfoot to put on display and charge admission bling. I’m against exploitation, but man I’d still fork over some serious admission bling to see that action.

The Capture of Bigfoot

A park ranger, sympathetic to our rug-fuzzy friend, seeks to intervene. Bigfoot puts up a decent struggle, heaving bodies and snowmobiles around like they were movie props. But it’s his stylish winter coat and human-sounding growl that make me think this probably isn’t the real Bigfoot.

The Capture of Bigfoot

Still, it was nice to see the carnage resolve equitably, with Bigfoot and Babyfoot looking back at his park ranger buddy and all but saying thanks and waving good-bye.

I just love happy endings.

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