Mutants With A Need To Breed


Originally titled Hemoglobin and Breeders, Bleeders is a 1997 Gothic horror movie that set out to give in-breeding a bad name.

A decadent Dutch family of mutated, flesh-eating, hermaphrodite aristocrats live, play and have nightly monster intercourse in convenient underground tunnels, which happen to run beneath the cemetery. This is almost as good as delivery pizza for the horny freaks when someone kicks the bucket.


A dying descendant – unaware of his cannibalistic lineage – shows up to find out why he’s bleeding all over the place and walks around for an hour with menstrual cramps. Zzzzzzz. 


The best moment comes when he dines on a fetus pickled in formaldehyde, the secret sauce that gives him his life back. Instead of opening a chain of embalming fluid espresso stands, he rejoins his dwarf mutant family where he screws and eats humans happily ever after.


A few boobs, one dull sex scene and mild gore, all of which is paced so slow you get an urge to wander into the kitchen to see if there are any embryo snack-packs left in the cupboard.

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