The Dead Don’t Wear Clothes

After.Life

An attractive young school teacher dies, and yet doesn’t. Wasn’t her fault – her quick-tempered “almost” fiancé gooned her out and she drove off into the rainy night, only to be skewered by a truck carrying lead pipes. Superman can’t see through lead. Neither can she. But lead can see through her. Heh.

After.Life

Taken to a funeral home run by a guy who can talk to the deceased, the girl doesn’t believe she’s dead, and argues with him while he preps her body for the funeral. He explains it’s his gift and curse to speak to the non-living, and that all the deceased do is crap and pee (he uses the other words that’ll get you sent to your room).

After.Life

His point is the dead don’t know anything about dying. His theories intrigue me; I’ll have to subscribe to his newsletter. Meanwhile, the girl’s grieving “almost” fiancé, suspects she’s still alive. This is done through a series of clues, including a little boy, who was the gal’s student at school and who also can speak to the dead.

After.Life

You see the story’s twist coming about half the way through, and by the time it’s put on the slab, it’s kinda “meh.” Still, Christina Ricci (the dead broad) is naked 89% of the movie. She’s hot even when she’s cold (heh). After.Life (2009) is sorta cool, but it needed less after and more life.

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