The Devil Hides in YOU

Where The Devil Hides

Here’s an eye-grabber: the new (as of this writing as it will someday not be new) one-sheet for the upcoming Where The Devil Hides. I don’t have a release date yet, so you might wanna refer to your local community shopper or church.

While the movie’s title suggests a plot, the movie’s plot does even a better job: “There’s a prophecy in the small village of New Bethlehem that on the eve of every girl’s 18th birthday, the devil might inhabit her soul. Now as that day approaches, six girls, all born on the sixth day of the sixth month begin to mysteriously disappear one by one. Could this be the hands of a crazed serial killer, a village elder or the horrific prophecy come true…the work of the devil?”

I’ve formulated my own theories as to WTF. Eighteen year-old girls mysteriously disappearing – two words: Spring Break. The devil might be inhabiting their souls: two words: wine coolers. Crazed serial killer, village elder, horrific prophecy: two words – all of the above. Ahem.

Like I said, just theories. But I couldn’t help but notice similarities to other horror movies of this ilk. (I love that word, ilk. It rhymes with milk. Milk is so good for you. Unless you’re allergic to/don’t dig dairy products. Then you’re leaving the door wide open for the devil to do his dirty work.)

Ninety-nine percent of demonic possession movies more often than not feature women/young girls as portals for said unholy occupancy. And the fashion choice is almost always an old-time-y nightie that could use some pre-stain treatment and some Bounce™. Also, the pre-possession color of their eyes is brown, later turning to red and green with a nice accent pus running out of ’em. And here’s the staggering connection – all the women have boobs. And not boob, as in the one writing this blog, but of the lovely lady lumps nature.

I should totally be a detective.

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