Russian Shapeshifter


The Russian mob has a flesh-eating demon in their employ. Yeah, right – like there’s such a thing as a “Russian mob.”

When one of their criminal buddies gets thrown in an American jail with only three guards on duty (one of whom, strategically, is a supermodel and new to the job), the Russians send their demon stateside to spring him out. But how the freakin’ hell how?


Here’s where the shape-shifting part comes in. The demon morphs into a regular guy with an irregular tattoo on his chest. The cops think he’s a bum and throw him in the exact same jail as the Russian mobster. Whew – that saved a LOT of time.


Once inside he/it starts eating a hole in his own arm, taking time to completely chew every bite thoroughly so as to not get a tummy ache. Halfway through the lip-smackin’ epidermis he hits pay dirt: an amulet that allows him to shift shapes, in this case a steroided muscle monster with an insatiable appetite for fresh organ meat.


By the time two prison guards are consumed the remaining half-dozen inmates attempt an escape with the help of the supermodel guard, who just happens to know how to get out through the maze of abandoned (!) floors and onto the roof. That she does this in a form-fitting tank top merely adds tension to the plot.


So how come there were only three guards on duty and no one else? And how come there were only a handful of criminals in a jail big enough to hold at least three handfuls? And how come the demon wasn’t read his Miranda Rights before being tossed in the clink?

It’s plot holes like this that just ruin a good flesh-eating story. P.S. Shapeshifter (2005)

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