An Eyeful of Aliens

The Eye Creatures

The Eye Creatures (1965) is also known as Attack of the Eye Creatures. Also known as a really dumb sci-fi movie. Why do eye say that? Eye don’t know. Actually, eye do. Eye just wanted to work in that awesome twist of word dealie. Heh.

The Eye Creatures

The military has been keeping their EYE on flying saucers that’ve been buzzing Earth. A UFO lands near a place where teens park their cars and make-out because they didn’t know how to have sex back in the early ’60s.

The Eye Creatures

Stan and his girlfriend run over an alien after dry humping in Lip Lock Park (my name, not theirs), and severe its hand. The creature looks like a herpes-infected Michelin’s™ Tire Man icon with six more beady eyes and a slimy gaping mouth. This reminds me of wet marshmallows for some reason. The thought of wet marshmallows makes me pee shudder – and not in a good way.

The Eye Creatures

Reporting the accident to the cops, Stan and his hot trim didn’t know a drifter had also been in the area, saw the saucer/creatures, and died of a heart attack. (And other booze related health issues, more than likely.) The cops think that’s the body Stan hit and arrest him. And thus begins Stan’s life of crime.

The Eye Creatures

The military blows up the spaceship, but didn’t know the aliens were out picking berries and/or berry-flavored brains in the woods. Don’t worry about the extraterrestrials having no way to get back home – they blow up when exposed to light. Since the military can’t figure out how to conquer the herpes aliens, it’s up to the dry humping teens to save the day. And they kiss like two wet marshmallows being rubbed together. Ick.

The Eye Creatures

Part sci-fi, part comedy, all boring. If you have more than two eyes, you’ll find it hard to keep ’em open all the way through this nap-inducer.

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