Werewolf Woman

The Legend of the Wolf Woman

The Legend of the Wolf Woman (aka, Werewolf Woman) is a 1976 Italian horror movie with sexy results involving a delightfully naked woman dancing inside a circle of flames. Did I mention she had no clothes on? Did I mention you can see EVERYTHING? Did I mention when the moon becomes its fullest she begins her transformation into a fuzzy stripper? I should have.

Wolf Woman’s eyes turn red and her teeth look ready for some chomping action, but her face remains more or less unchanged, with only her nose sprouting fur. That’s pretty dang amusing on several levels.

The Legend of the Wolf Woman

The local villagers, however, don’t think so and have had enough of her ass-wagging rituals. So they go into the woods to hunt her down. But not before she jumps on one guy and gives him a new throat hole. She’s caught and burned to death. Too bad – she looked like a fun date.

The Legend of the Wolf Woman

Leap ahead in the future to 1976 and the descendant of Loretta Lotta Fur is a sexually repressed chick living in her rich father’s attic. When her sister comes to visit with her fiancé, the psycho chick (I know, an oxymoron) peeks at them doing it. So she runs outside where the moon bathes her in moisturizing beams of madness.

The Legend of the Wolf Woman

The fiancé dude follows her into the dark forest, where she rips off her clothes and wants to have naked familiarities with him. But those repressed sex emotions interfere and she gives his neck two extra breathing vents. Here’s the kicker: he looks exactly like the guy her wolfy aunt chewed upon a century ago.

The Legend of the Wolf Woman

She’s later caught and taken to a mental hospital for evaluation. It’s there she meets a lesbian who obviously doesn’t like hospital food and prefers to snack on rugs. (You better know what I mean by that.) The gal pal is bitten to death and the mad woman makes her escape, where she kills again when guys try to have sexings with her. (When she freaks out she looks like Sandra Locke on five quarts of Red Bull™.)

Another guy invites her back to his house where he makes dinner and doesn’t try to feel her up. He’s a stunt man in the movies with killer abs and tells her, “I let women come to me.” A prudent choice of words. Had he tried to get a taste, she would’ve added more artery air conditioning.

The Legend of the Wolf Woman

Over the next few days they hang out together and he shows her how to take a fall off the roof without hurting herself. (Good skill to have.) They go running along the beach and eventually she lets him boldly go where no man has gone before. But she doesn’t freak out as it was her choice.

Later, three thugs break into the house and brutally sex her. The boyfriend comes home and kicks their asses because he’s got abs, but one criminal manages to stab him to death. She hunts them down and goes on an I Spit On Your Grave revenge killing jamboree.

The Legend of the Wolf Woman

The police later find her in the woods, eating what appears to be a hot dog minus the bun and mustard. Her brain is broken and she’s letting her boobs hang out for all to see because hey, it’s all about breaking the rules at this point in her career.

I’m glad she didn’t turn into a werewolf at this juncture, though, because I’m not from the country of European, and hairy legs on chicks goon me out. I’m sorry – I’m just repressed that way.

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