Grade School Vampire

Dawn

Dawn is a 10 year-old vampire girl who can walk in the sunlight, wear mix ’n match religious artifacts without adverse reaction, and suck the tomato juice right out of your neck. I’m just guessing it’s tomato juice as this low-budget independent horror  “film” was done in black and white. It could be turkey gravy for all I know.

Dawn’s mom was a tough talkin’ vampire who died just after giving birth to her daughter in a bathtub with her clothes on. I’m not sure, but I think it’s illegal to bathe/birth with your clothes on.

Dawn

Dawn’s human dad takes her from town to town so she can feed. And you know what tapeworms kids have – this chick is hungry all the freakin’ time. Dawn’s cravings are intensifying, which coincides with a handicapped psychic detective hot on her trail, the clues all but visible just by him touching the crime scene with his washed hands.

Dawn

If you think the plot of Dawn (2006) sounds familiar, you’re getting warm – it borrows liberally from Firestarter (1984). But no fire is started here. Rather, it puts out the flame with entry-level acting, stiff dialogue and a 10 year-old girl sucking on the necks of elderly men. Why couldn’t she just drink turkey gravy instead? It’s not bad after you get through the first gallon.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: