California Caveman

Eegah!

Eegah! Quite certain that is the worst title for a teen horror movie from 1962. Or any time, for that matter. Sounds like something one might say during a Lady Gaga performance.

A 10-foot tall prehistoric caveman was found living in the Southern California desert. I highly doubt it. First, he wasn’t wearing sunglasses. Everybody in California wears sunglasses, even indoors. Secondly, he didn’t have any product in his hair. Everybody in California has at least three different kinds of styling gel cementing their hair in place. My guess is that the caveman was actually a male pattern body baldness Bigfoot. Rarely am I wrong.

Eegah!

A spoiled daddy’s girl, who won’t shut up even when she’s sleeping, encounters the caveman while heading for a party in her sports car. No one believes her, and she won’t shut up about it. Finally, rich dad helicopters to the desert to find this thing and write a best-selling novel about it so he can afford more water for his swimming pool. The caveman captures him and takes him to his cave. (He doesn’t have a swimming pool – yet another indication he’s not really from California.)

Eegah!

With dad missing, the girl and her wavy-haired rock singer boyfriend go into the desert in the boy’s hot rod to find dad so she can borrow some money. While searching, the kid whips out his guitar and breaks into a pop song. He looks like Elvis crossed with a Pekinese mutt, with a face so pushed in, it looks like he spends most of his time chasing parked cars.

The girl gets captured by the caveman and is reunited with dad. For some reason the chick bonds with Eegah. (Dad: “He keeps saying that, so that must be his name.”) She gives Eegah a shave and combs his hair. In certain prehistoric eras, that’s considered a marriage proposal. Daddy and daughter are eventually rescued by Flat Face and go back to civilization.

Eegah!

A party later at the local country club has the kid singing and rocking out, all the while oblivious to Eegah coming out of the desert to reunite with his future ex-wife. The best scene: Eegah goes into the resort’s restaurant, bear skins and all (where he found a bear to skin in the desert is anyone’s guess), grabs a ham and chows into it. The line chef, holding a piece of ham on a fork, offers it to the caveman, which I found to be LOL humorous.

Eegah!

Eegah barnstorms the party, looking for love in all the wrong places. Meanwhile, the daughter is conflicted, confessing to dad that she misses the unwashed brute. With all the ruckus going on at the club, the cops are called in and deal the caveman the ultimate punishment. Not because the man from the past did anything wrong, but because the country club has a strict dress code policy.

Eegah should’ve ripped all their heads off and feasted on their civilized brains.

2 Responses to “California Caveman”

  1. Sounds a lot like that Pauly Shore movie ‘Encino Man!’

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