House of Evil Fun

If you’ve never seen a Japanese schoolgirl eaten by a piano, today’s your luck day. This slice of entertainment happens when a group of young schoolgirl’s go to one of their dead aunt’s house. It’s more of a cabin, really, with an enchanted cat, hot tub, the aunt (who alternates being dead and alive), and the previously mentioned hungry piano.

Each girl is nicknamed after their innate abilities/traits. For instance, Prof (teacher), Melody (pre-eaten piano player), Kung-Fu (she kicks you in the nuts), Gorgeous (stuck on herself), Mac (as in Big Mac™, as in eater of all things hamburgers)… Six in all. And one by one they are killed in a fantastical way that probably gave Freddy Krueger some ideas.

Severed hands and heads, attacking bed mattresses, bodies trapped in clocks, possessed chandeliers, rooms turning into swimming pools of blood… It’s like a Jagermeister™ wonderland.

The aunt, whose sole job is to eat the girls, has her soul trapped in the cabin, a place she’s been waiting in since her husband went off to fight in WWII and never came back. (Probably met a non-cannibal and after briefly dating, moved in with her and never looked back.)

So upside down is the story line and cheap but strangely mesmerizing visuals, House (1977) goes from comedy to fantasy, to musical to horror, sometimes at the same time. Truly, one of the most bizarre horror fantasy films you’ll ever see, sober or otherwise.