Giant Leeches Suck – Literally

Attack of the Giant Leeches

Attack of the Giant Leeches, made in 1959 back when such radiation-created creatures were prone to showing up on drive-in movie screens, is/was also known as Attack of the Blood Leeches, She Demons of the Swamp, Demons of the Swamp, and lastly War of the Giant Leeches. Why so many alternate titles? Sometimes you try polishing a turd over and over before you figure out it can’t be done and just push the handle.

Attack of the Giant Leeches

Those icky/sticky leech bug things are what paramedics in previous centuries used to rid the body of bad blood. Imagine if a leech was the size of a football player and was affixed to your face? That could really suck. (Heh.)

Attack of the Giant Leeches

Leaking radiation into a stink swamp from nearby Cape Canaveral, the wacky substance turns the popular watering hole’s leeches into what I described in the fourth sentence. Why leeches were the only things mutated, I don’t know, man – ask a forensic entomologist or someone wearing a clean lab coat.

Attack of the Giant Leeches

The mutant leeches (two that I know of) have a cool underwater lair, where they store humans, sucking out the blood-flavored Jell-O™ as needed for sustenance and TV snacks. Nobody cares about the missing people until the leeches make off with a centerfold hot chick. That won’t stand in this muggy Florida Everglades community. Nor will it stand with the local game warden, as the centerfold is/was his new girlfriend.

Attack of the Giant Leeches

The leeches wouldn’t pass a Halloween costume inspection, looking like guys dressed in Hefty™ garbage bags with inside-out bicycle tires for suckers. Dynamite ends all our pain. Cool movie title, though. That might count for something and… Nah, it doesn’t.

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