Horror That No One Knows

Ingloda

Ingloda is an upcoming indie horror flick from first time writer/director Brian Targett. I don’t know what an Ingloda is. My first thought was that it was an appetizer on a Korean lunch menu. Or at least rhymes with one. Then it occurred that Ingloda might be a medical condition that includes yellow-y discharge. Best case scenario is that Ingloda could very well be a Japanese vampire/dinosaur/model/actress that rises up out of the ocean and feasts on a side order of fleeing citizens.

Maybe the synopsis has a clue…

Ingloda is a dark psychological thriller that follows Kelly as she discovers dark secrets about her past. Her friends Kacy and Nikki try to help her as she slowly loses her grip on reality.”

No luck here as that pretty much generically describes a plethora of “meh” horror movies. That, and it’s redundant, using the word “dark” twice in the same sentence. Like I would ever do that ever.

And who are these “Kelly,” “Kacy” and “Nikki” people they speak of? Are they supermodels with skin/social problems? American Idol rejects? Girls that have premarital sex in the roomy and stylish back seat of a Kia™ hamster car?

As for Kelly losing her grip on reality, she should try Gorilla Glue™. Man, you won’t lose your grip on anything with that stuff. (Warning: don’t use it to affix glitter sparkles on your butt cheeks. Itches like crazy, those sparkles do.)

P.S. Anybody know where I can find some glue remover?

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