Evil Dead 2013

The Evil DeadA remake of 1981’s The Evil Dead? The stinkin’ heck you say! And yet, someone has the groinal properties to give one of the greatest horror movies of all time a makeover. Balls the size of Texas, I say. But before I put my foot all the way in my mouth, the trailer for it is awesomely awesome.

The final say will come from the hardcore fans, most of whom already think this isn’t a good idea. (On some of the blogs I’ve read, they use argumentative language unbecoming of anyone but a drunk demon.)

The Evil DeadHere’s the plot of the new one: Five twenty-something friends become holed up in a remote cabin. When they discover a Book of the Dead, they unwittingly summon up dormant demons living in the nearby woods, which possess the youngsters in succession until only one is left intact to fight for survival.

Sounds vaguely familiar.

The Evil DeadHere’s a summation of the original movie so you can compare/take notes/argue like a drunk demon: Friends spending the weekend in a ramshackle cabin so deep in the woods, electricity can’t get to it. And yet, the lights work. They accidentally on purpose unleash the dead, who were sleeping (and evil) and didn’t want to be woken up. What happens to them next is the stuff of cinematic gore legend.

The Evil DeadNeedless to say, it was/is a milestone in demonic possession. No horror movie before matched The Evil Dead’s ferocious demons and platters of yummy splatter. From the possessed shrubbery outside and the cackling demon bitch in the basement, this flesh-melting fest is like the world’s best roller coaster ride in Hell’s amusement park. (Souls redeemable for Dizzy Pass™ coupons.)

The Evil DeadThis was also the movie that gave birth to the immortal Ash – a regular kind of guy (with a highly expressive face) who battles demons without losing his head like so many before him.

If you haven’t seen The Evil Dead, why are you reading this blog? And if you’ve already seen The Evil Dead, go watch it again. Then, like, go do other stuff so as to not waste the rest of the day.

One Response to “Evil Dead 2013”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    the remake is the worst disappointment inmovie history

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