Non-Zombie Brain Eaters

The Brain EatersThe Brain Eaters came out one million years ago (actually 1958), but still has social relevance. Regardless of the title (like they were gonna show people getting their brains eaten back in the ’50s; They never showed two people sleeping in the same bed, for cryin’ out loud), the Brain Eaters aren’t really grey matter munchers, but rather little alien cootie bugs that attach themselves onto the back of your neck and make you do bad things. In contemporary terms, that would be like taping a bottle of beer to your throat – on the inside.

The Brain EatersOnce attached you will soon die, but not before you go on a heavy metal rampage, pushing papers off desktops and punching people in the pie-hole for no reason other than you suddenly don’t like pie.

The Brain EatersThe rocket ship looks like my 1973 Nova, only with more paint. The acting? Let’s just say there isn’t any. Special effects? The entire budget was spent on the spaceship with nothing left over to make The Brain Eaters look a little more “eater.” The story? Stretched as much as my underpants/patience/eco-beliefs.

The Brain EatersBut sci-fi movies from the ’50s are so darn fun to watch, if anything to see how quickly our grandparents dealt with alien life-forms (usually with God, guns ’n guts). When a Brain Eater comes to my neighborhood (no jokes about how it’ll starve around me), I’ll know what to do.

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