Entity = Gooned Out

EntityEntity seems like a perfectly serviceable title for a horror movie. First, it doesn’t really commit itself in that an entity could be a ghost, a monster, or a homeless person that eats secondhand cats. Also, it lets YOU freak yourself out wondering what the h*ck it is. I’m already suitably gooned thinking about what the entity in the upcoming found footage movie Entity might actually be. (I really hope it has nothing to do with eating secondhand cats.)

Here’s the synopsis: “In 1998, thirty four unidentified bodies were found in shallow graves in a remote Siberian forest. After subsequent investigations, no official explanation by the Russian authorities was ever offered about the circumstances of the deaths. The case was closed.

In 2010, a small English TV crew from the show Darkest Secrets set out for the Siberian forest. Darkest Secrets focuses on revisiting the sites of unsolved crimes and they employ the gifts of a psychic whose extraordinary powers may help shed new light on cold cases.

The last communication to their production office in London stated that they were approaching the Siberian region where the bodies were found. Nothing was heard from them again. Entity is the story of what happened to them. The forest was only the beginning…”

See what I mean? Gooned, I tell you.

The Entity

Of course, there was the notorious 1981 The Entity that was allegedly based on true story. Not sure how that works once you read the plot: Barbara Hershey (no relation to the candy bar) is continuously and savagely raped by an invisible demon incubus whose idea of foreplay/romance is ripping off her underwear. Those things aren’t cheap. This went on for years, but that didn’t stop her parapsychologists – who thought it was all in her head – from billing her.

There is one plus to this ugly scenario: no wet spot to sleep on.

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