Phantom Ship

The Phantom ShipThe Phantom Ship is a tedious, 1935 black and white “thriller” based on The Mystery of the Marie Celeste. The Celeste, as you know, was one of those old-time Clippers that was found floating in the ocean with no passengers. In fact, there was still food on the table (probably not edible now), and all stations looking like they were manned before… Therein lies the mystery!

The Phantom ShipWhere the heck did everyone go in such a hurry? The boat hadn’t taken on water or been battered around like a ping pong ball in a flushing toilet. So WTF? I have a few theories, one of which is a giant squid reaching over the side with its tentacles of doom, plucking the passengers off the deck like shrieking raspberries from the vine. (I have my theories about the Titanic as well, with my research pointing to the luxury liner being rammed by an ice whale.)

The Phantom ShipThe Phantom Ship presents itself as a horror movie, but it’s not, even with the presence of Bela Lugosi as a looney tunes one-armed sailor (a shark ate it), who proclaims that whoever sails the Celeste, sails to their death. Geez, what a buzz-kill. This is a murder mystery that, while even only an hour long, feels like its sailing in mud.

Where are the ice whales when you need ’em?

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