The Snow Creature

The Snow CreatureThe year was 1954. The movie was called The Snow Creature. In the aforementioned film (The Snow Creature, remember?), an American botanist sets out for the Himalayas in order to discover a type of new weed to sell to hippies. (Since this movie was made in 1954, hippies were then properly referred to as “beatniks.”)

The Snow CreatureRounding up a bunch of Hippies/Sherpas to carry camping crap up the mountain, they trek the snowy, wind-blown slopes. Meanwhile, a 10-foot tall Yeti (Abominable Snowman) has made off with the lead Sherpa’s wife, Woman. (That’s really her name. I’m not making that up. Kinda cool when you think about it.) The Sherpas revolt; Half go home, the other half abandon the thrill of looking for flowers in the snow to get Woman back before… I don’t wanna think about it.

The Snow CreatureThe first half of the movie is nothing more than watching people climb the mountain, with Yeti stepping in and out of dark shadows to impart a sense of dread and dangerousness. (This shot is repeated 15 times.)

The Snow CreatureWhen the Yeti is finally captured, the American decides to ship the hairy douche back to the States in a refrigerator box. Yeti gets loose in the city (L.A.), kills a few people, raids a meat locker for animal pudding snacks and basically steps in and out of the shadows when the plot needs to do something other than watch people run around.

Total Yeti time on camera: 2.3 minutes. Total movie running time: 71 minutes. Subtract the lesser number by the greater number to determine the boredom sub-total.

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