A New Werewolf Movie You’ve Already Seen

Werewolf: The Beast Among Us

Even though highly-touted The Wolfman 2010 remake tanked (cost: $150 million, box office: $142 million), the upper management at Universal nevertheless green-lighted another lycanthopic movie: Werewolf: The Beast Among Us. And to ensure consistent mediocrity, it’s top-loaded with tried-and-true plot formulas. Man, I could totally be a film producer.

Werewolf: The Beast Among Us

Let’s review: “A monstrous creature terrorizes a 19th Century European village by moonlight and a young man struggles to protect his loved ones from an unspeakable scourge.” (While it would be a nice change of pace to have the unspeakable scourge be a hobo with mouth sores, it’s cliched.)

Werewolf: The Beast Among Us

“During his studies with the local doctor, Daniel witnesses the horrific consequences of werewolf attacks. Watching as the beast’s fearsome reputation draws bounty hunters, thrill seekers and charlatans to the tiny town, Daniel dreams of destroying the ruthless predator.” (Jaws with hair.)

Werewolf: The Beast Among Us

A mysterious stranger and his team of skilled werewolf hunters arrive to pursue the monster. (How convenient, given that in order to be a skilled werewolf hunter, there would have to be enough of those hairy bastards running around for a guy to get proficient at killing them.) Daniel offers to join them, despite his mother’s protests. But it soon becomes clear that this creature is stronger, smarter and more dangerous than anything they have faced before.” (Werewolves are highly educated monsters.)

Werewolf: The Beast Among Us

“As casualties mount and villagers see their neighbors transformed into ravening (egghead word – I would’ve said lung-ripping) monsters, the townsfolk take up arms against each other to find the true identity of the werewolf. Amid the hysteria, Daniel begins to suspect he’s closer to his target than he ever dreamed.” (Thanks for the plot spoiler – all signs pointed to mom from the get-go.)

Werewolf: The Beast Among Us

Keep in mind I’m pre-disposed to werewolf movies. But with Universal’s track record (one/one), I’m a little reticent. (Man, I love those word-of-the-day calendars.)

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