Getting High on Horror

The Secret Village

In The Secret Village, new horror thriller (new as of this writing, anyway), an entire small town is f’d in the b-hole when the ergot fungus (stuff that grows in the woods and on your Week 5 leftovers in the fridge) poisons everyone and makes ’em goon out in a grand display of mass hysteria. Sucks to be citizens of Secret Village.

A supermodel chick journalist and an unsuccessful screenwriter who just got a ride to Dumpsville by his ex, pair up to solve the mystery of this decades-ongoing hysteria and why the locals wanna keep it that way. If you know a hill of beans about ergot, you’ll know why. Here’s what my government grant research money unveiled…

Ergot is a plant poison used for medications that enhance sexuality.

Mystery solved.

But wait, there’s more; I clicked, uh, dug deep into library books and found that ergot is also a great source for the art of healing and the pharmaceutical industry. Those of you into mind-expansion and/or are hippies know the ergot derivative LSD is used almost exclusively as recreational drug with practically no use in conventional medicine. Which means its in huge demand.

Before you go out and start smoking/popping/injecting/distilling ergot, know that it is a fungus that lives on rye and other grasses and is pathogenic to its host as well as to humans and other animals that ingest it.

So all you worthless stink hippies go ahead and do society a favor. Everyone else, stick with Viagra™ and shots of Jager™.

One Response to “Getting High on Horror”

  1. Guess somebody was paying attention to that episode of Science Channel’s “Dark Matters” series: “TRIPPING WITH UNCLE SAM: Could madness be infectious? In the late 90’s journalist Hank Albarelli tied an epidemic of insanity in a small French town to the apparent suicide of a top US government scientist. Combining his own government sources with a detailed analysis of declassified files he concluded that the town of Pont Saint Esprit in Southern France had been used as a test bed for a mind control experiment and that the scientist had been murdered to prevent him blowing the story.”

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