Germ – It’s Good For Every Body

Icky stinky germs are apparently not groovy for you. Who knew? Contracted in a variety of ways, these often invisible viruses can render a somewhat harmless 7-Eleven™ Truckstopper Burrito into an explosive shock and awe. And touching a bus station toilet seat and then rubbing your eyes? Only if you want ’em to painfully swell up and shoot out of your head like bloodshot marbles from a cannon.

So it is with disease-phobic optimism that I await Germ, a new indie sci-fi (that’s short for science fiction, by the way) film that unleashes infectious bacterium over a small town, turning the citizens into rage-filled killers that need to wash their hands with $1.99 anti-bacterial soap. (Not to split pathogens here, but wasn’t this the plot of 1973/2010’s The Crazies?)

Germ premiered for some TV bigwigs in Hong Kong on March 29, 2012. I was not invited. Now I hate Hong Kong and everything it stands for. What the suits got to see that I didn’t was the military shooting down an orbiting satellite, which rains down space-borne microorganisms on the remote upstate NY town and makes everybody go on a double crazy murder spree. On the positive side, the military popped a cap in that satellite with one shot. Snap!

A press quote describes Germ’s climactic confrontation as the male uninfected lead “battles his way through a crowd of zombies; wrecked cars, trash and bloodied bodies littered the street after the fight.” Sounds like they filmed this sequence on my block during “Get To Know Your Neighbors Week.”

Germ will spread (heh) October 1st, 2012. Wear a wet suit to the theater – you never know what orbiting satellite was sitting in that seat before you.