Potato Vampires

Potato Vampires

Of all the freshness-expired crap in my refrigerator, the last food group I’d suspect of being a vampire is the potato. (Not the factory-made frozen kind that rocks the frying pan, but one of those weirdo vegetables that comes out of the ground.) And a bloodsucking tuberous is just what you get in the delightfully titled Potato Vampires.

Potato Vampires

So how does a potato become a vampire? First, the potato has to be a hybrid grown in a science lab. Next, the plant from which it grows sprouts tendrils, which drill into your flesh and removes all that pesky blood gumming up your system. Then you get high. Then you die.

You heard me correct. The by-product of having a lab altered potato suck the goo outta you is that you get stoned. (This could be an interesting way to get hippies to eat their vegetables instead of smoking ’em.) Needless to say, drug dealers are seeing dollar signs aplenty. And hey, what cop is gonna bust you for selling potatoes to school kids?

Potato Vampires

Potato Vampires was filmed on the cheap (corn cobs are just too expensive – and vain – to work with). So don’t rent it and expect Hollywood veggies or even stunt salads – this is fun, not art.

Potato Vampires. I bet the filmmakers ate the star afterward.

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