Alien Tornado

Alien TornadoApparently it’s not enough for aliens to invade our interplanetary party pad with UFOs, robotic war machines and swirly laser beams. Now they’re attacking us with weather. And not good weather like naked waterski sunshine or naked snowboarding snow. No, these outta towners are now chucking tornadoes at us. Stupid aliens. I hate them so much.

Alien Tornado

In Alien Tornado, premiering on the SyFy Channel on Saturday, April 21, extraterrestrials, pissed off at us again for some reason (I blame Republicans), whip up some electrical tornadoes and set ’em loose on our faces. And this just isn’t for fun – it’s a cover for an invasion. Some guy teams up with some chick and tries to warn the public. Good luck with that.

Alien TornadoThe SyFy Channel will get all the credit for presenting Alien Tornado, but it was made by Active Entertainment, the same film studio that brought us weather-gone-wild movies as Miami Magma, Quantum Apocalypse, Weather Wars, Ghost Quake, Arachnoquake, and the entertainingly contagious Flu Birds. Here’s a quick look at Active Entertainment’s menu of digital destruction…

Quantum Apocalypse, Miami Magma

A rogue space anomaly is approaching Earth, and it is up to the world’s top scientists to stop it from wrecking the planet. Any attempt of preventing disaster is futile. Cities across the world are destroyed. You won’t have to go in to work tomorrow.

An oil rig has tapped a lava tube system, awakening a long-dormant underground volcano, the core of which lies directly beneath Miami. You’ll pay a penalty fee to have Expedia™ change your Florida vacation plans to Hawaii, where you’ll likely be eaten by lava sharks.

Weather Wars

A series of freak weather occurrences around Washington D.C. (Yet another excuse for Congress to not go to work.) A once prestigious climate scientist has figured out to control the weather and wreak havoc on the political system that f’d him in the metaphoric b-hole.

Ghost Quake, Arachnoquake

An earthquake in the vicinity of Helville High unleashes long dormant ghost spirits that have been trapped in the walls of the school for years. More than a little ticked off that they’ve been made to stay after school permanently, these ghosts possess the teachers and trap and torment the students. And because the students are teenagers, they deserve it.

National Earthquake Day is celebrated with a New Orleans quake that releases one hundred billion million fist-sized Albino spiders. To make it interesting, these spiders breathe fire. The National Guard has been called into make them quit breathing fire. Good luck with that.

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